12 Cool Ways to Deal With What Might be a Midlife Crisis, Part 2

So where were we? Ah yes, getting a tattoo.

So the guy steps into the tattoo parlor, and was pleasantly surprised by the ambiance. He makes an appointment and comes back a few weeks later to sit in the waiting area and leaf through tattoo magazines while a man nearly half his size moans, groans, and swears through his third inking.

Trembling a little, and breathing fast, his name is called. The process was beginning. And the first prick wasn’t so bad, but then it did get a little more intense. He was going to show this 200-plus-pound veteran a thing or two, he thought to himself. Nevertheless, he was grateful for the cool antiseptic liquid applied at regular intervals, and the artist’s desire to satisfy his nicotine addiction halfway through. He was somewhat touched by the artist’s regular inquiries as to how his “little trouper” was getting on. When he finally saw the result, he was impressed and moved. Yes, his shoulder felt like he had terrible sunburn and a healing itch he had to douse with aloe at the office where no one was looking, but he now had a piece of art on his body that he knew he could live with. His friends were impressed.

“Why a compass rose?” asked his mother. Well, as a lover of the sea and all things nautical, he knew he wanted a nautical design from the start. After milling through ideas: a ship’s wheel, an anchor, a lighthouse, a ship, he settled on compass rose, and that was it. After much searching, he found a 1607 design from a map by the English topographer John Norden. It’s now on his body.

File:Hang Gliding over Yosemite (9504524310).jpg

2. Bungee Jump, Skydive or Hang Glide

These are all fantastic examples of ways you can relatively safely get your heart pumping with no sexy blond or buff co-worker in sight (!).

You might be surprised to learn that in 2015, USPA recorded 21 fatal skydiving accidents in the U.S. out of roughly 4.2 million jumps. Tandem skydiving has an even better safety record, with 0.002 student fatalities per 1,000 tandem jumps over the past decade (and you might want to leave these statistics floating around the house so your family can “accidentally” read them before you book your skydiving session).

Sometimes we are simply looking for something new and exciting to do during these midlife years. A kick. And this is one surefire way of getting your rocks off without hurting your marriage or anyone else.

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